it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
