I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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