This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
