I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
