This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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