check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
