The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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