Yo dont text me then not text me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
