I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
