i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
