I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
