She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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