so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
