dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
