pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
