do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I enjoy the company of your penis
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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