Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
