She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
