Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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