Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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