in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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