He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
