Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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