SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
