dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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