just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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