I wannas sexs uuuuu
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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