i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
