dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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