Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
