Where is the hickey?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
