what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
