Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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