You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
