you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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