well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
