So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
