Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
this is an emotional support booty call
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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