i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
