Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
