its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
