dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
