Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I want a musical about memes.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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