i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
