I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
COCAINE IS GR8
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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