He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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