butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
