called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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