I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
