You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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